Pesticide ,or evidence of addiction?

Is this thing on??  Oh Hello bloggers. Yes,it’s me..you remember..the bloke who blogs..bloggerates..emblogs..Oh you rascals,you had me going there for a minute. Yes yes,très amusant!  as if you’d forget me.  Yes I have been absent of late it’s true. I’ll come clean with you,for some unknown reason,I lost the ability to blog. Journalistic constipation ..A lack of wit. But following a regime of high fiber, I am back in the flow of things..as t’were. Do you know what caught my attention just the other day, in the tabloid press…It even made the broadsheets!! The EU directive,prohibiting the use of coffee grounds as a way of deterring slugs and snails. Yes you heard..read me correctly..The nice ladies and gentlemen in Brussels have ruled that gardeners are breaking the law ,if the use the age-old remedy for those slimy fiends. You could( I kid you not) be arrested for scattering your used coffee amongst your Brassica patch and in and out of your strawberries. the RHS ( royal horticultural society) has warned that any gardener using coffee granules or grounds to deter slugs and snails falls foul of EU regulations. They say that any active ingredient or chemical used in gardening  must be explicitly approved and placed on the EU list of pesticides. ” This is to prevent people using home-made remedies in a dangerous manner”.

Now, I’d claim, should the riot squad  cordon off my sprouts,and seize my legumes, that I had not in fact laid a single granule..It is in fact evidence of copious coffee consumption by the very pests themselves! Yes, the snails are on 30 cups a day, sloshing back the espresso like there’s no tomorrow.

There you have it!! Actual incontrovertible proof . The slugs and snails love a cuppa.

The wide awake little buggers are whizzing round my rhubarb like the clappers,leaving their dregs behind.

So just remember, when you hear of gardeners being detained at her majesty’s pleasure, you heard it here first bloggers. Toodle pip.

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