My rise from mediocrity to ubiquitousness.

Well bloggers..I havent a clue where to start. It happened so quickly. I was in the hernia and triceps, having a pint, when in walked George Lucas. “I’ll have another pint of old Trilby stout yeoman, and whatever George is having.” I  slurred, in an affable, amiable sort of way. Well George must have been impressed, and after another couple of halves, he offered me the part of the emperor in his upcoming remake of  attack of the clones.

 Well bloggers, the critics loved me!  The endorsements flooded in, I couldn’t walk down the road without seeing my face being pasted  onto some wall or other!!

    Demand grew, and soon I festooned whole shopping arcades

    Amazing, as I’m sure you’ll agree bloggers. But it doesn’t stop there, far from it.  My career almost too a nosedive when I was named  in the glossy magazines  for having a brief  dalliance with an ex spice girl. The fourberie was soon swept aside, but not before the  dear lady exposed me to the press.

  Luckily it didn’t last long and soon I achieved the world-wide exposure i’d  craved.  To say I had become a household name was  putting it mildly. Far and wide my face was seen..On every billboard, on every screen in every city in the world!!     

What next?? I have arrived!! I am, not just huge, BIG!! ..erm, is huge bigger than big? Strapping ,voluminous,positively walloping. Why I ought to be on the money too!!

    Ahem…sorry bloggers, I seem to have taken a funny turn for a moment there. Hope I didn’t frighten anyone. I did..a bit?? Oh i am sorry. Any road up bloggers..fame is fleeting, and soon I was tossed back into the galvanised bucket of obscurity once more,and the only place I see my face now is in the mirror.

      No…That is not Victoria Beckham’s


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. custardfroggy
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 12:30:02

    Oh my, oh wow, oh cripes, oh lawks, etc I can scarcely believe it, you appearing in Attack of the Clones. Although come to think of it a friend of mine did have a starring role in A Sack of Old Clothes at the local Oxfam rep theatre but it’s not the same you know. But you, on the big screen, rubbing beery shoulders with George “I own your helmet” Lucas, I wouldn’t have thought it possible but I see clearly now it is true and I just hadn’t been paying attention. All that detailed evidence to prove it in photos on shops. Could you autograph my wookie with your lightsabre, is that what Victoria said to you?


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